Change

Damn, Mo, you changed. That's what a guy I used to talk to said to me in a text message. He asked me what I had been up to lately and I filled him in on everything; the baby, the books, school, the program, the articles. I guess he was flabbergasted or something because there was a long ass pause after I filled him in... So I asked him what he had been up to lately and he said he wasn't in school this semester and he wasn't working. So in my mind, it registered: I'm sitting at home, playing video games, not doing shit. You got the same thing too? Glad we're on the same page.

So I asked him how he thought I'd changed and all he could say was I act different. Umm, can a sista get some clarity? We went on ONE date sometime in early 2010 and that date pretty much changed our entire friendship. IT WAS HORRIBLE! (But that's for another post.) Before our date, we were pretty good friends who spoke on pretty consistent basis but after that one night out, I don't see how we ever got to be friends. He was never interested in the things that meant the most to me (my writing) yet I was at every game he had. I was always concerned about how school was going for him and he didn't even know my major. I really had to take a step back and look at the situation. You're supposed to be my friend and potentially someone who I may be in a relationship with further down the line but you barely know me. After him, I knew it was time for a change.

At 20 years old, I'm not saying I'm completely done with romance but I am completely done with settling. Right now, I've got major accomplishments under my belt but I refuse to celebrate with someone who doesn't even know why or what we're celebrating. Lately, I've been thinking about making a reemergance on the dating scene but FIRST I'd like to have myself together before I start zoning in adding someone else to my life. Even if it is just for a simple lunch date.

Change is supposed to be a good thing and if it's the right kind of change, it can be great. But if your changes have you downgrading, you need to seriously reevaluate some things, hun. My change has been for the betterment of me and my future, as well as the future of my child. I'm building my writing portfolio, I'm puttiing the final touches on Chanae's Angels and I'm already registered for Summer 1 and 2 at school. See, I'm focused man!

I could sit and let his statement irk me or I could laugh and keep doing me... I chose the latter.

Has someone ever told you "You've Changed" simply because you're doing better than ever?